The Deer Theory

According to the deep philosopher, Pez (The original Deer Theory is Pez's, the explanation below includes a few author extrapolations):

Dating is like deer hunting. The goal is that, at the end of the season, you shoot yourself a deer and take it home and marry it. Or something like that.

Now, everyone by right gets a free pass to the deer farm at least once in their life. It's called high school. Think about it: you're on the hunt, and the object you are hunting is in a closed environment, milling about, and usually there are several herds to choose from. The downside is that both the hunter and the deer are young and inexperienced. The hunter might shoot the first deer he sees, not realizing there were other and better options.

It is true that many people do bag a deer on the high school deer farm and are eternally happy they did. But for those hunters who did not get a deer this time around, who perhaps spent too much time competing for the same deer that other hunters were pursuing, or that caught a deer but then didn't know what do next, or maybe was too busy climbing trees to worry about deer - for those hunters, a choice must be made. Will you try and track a deer in the wild, or will you pay several thousand dollars for another ticket to the deer farm?

Hunters why buy another ticket realize the college deer farm is likely their last opportunity for easy pickin', and don't waste too much time looking for the biggest rack. But for some hunters, it just doesn't work out. At the end of the day, the deer farm is closed and the hunter is now having to find a deer in the wild. Finding a deer in the wild is a much harder thing. Suddenly, the deer aren't penned up in a predictable and reliable spot. It becomes a lot more work to even get close to a deer, much less bag one!

And so concludes The Deer Theory. There is no moral to this story. It is simply an excellent analogy to the human plight, and I thought it would be fun to refer to it in future posts.

My dad says...

In my facebook message inbox, in regards to yesterday's post:

"I vote for trendy. Was [husband] saying it needs a hat?"

You make me laugh Dad!

Today, I rolled out of bed around 8:45 a.m. I began working on my paper about 9:30 a.m. Husband and Daughter left for Husband's dad's Christmas up North. I took a break to eat at 3 p.m. I resumed at 4 p.m. and worked until Husband and Daughter returned, about 7:30 p.m. I worked a few more hours after eating some Chinese, and now I'm basically done. About 12 hours of paper-writing.

Yes, all I did today was eat, sleep and write a paper. I am still wearing my pajamas. I'm faced with the very strong possibility that I will return to bed without ever changing out of them. Most of the time, I'd agree with you that that is gross. But today...

Confusing

Dress: $128
Shoes: $69
Necklace: $20
Spanks: Priceless

This is what $233 and 2 hours of time can get you. I was happy.

I came home Friday, wearing my fabulous finds. Husband's reaction? Silence.

I said, What do you think of the dress?

He furrowed his brow in thought. Oh dear. Eventually, he came up with, "Confusing."

Confusing? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? After a period of interrogation, all he could come up with was that it was very plain, he wasn't prepared, and that it looked like an Amish dress. He might have said something like, Do you see other people wearing dresses like that? If so, are they also wearing bonnets?

So this is your opportunity. Trendy? Or Amish?


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Inconsolable and Inflexible

I'm not flexible.

Mocha tried to tell me. As I left the house, she looked at my suit hanging in the entryway closet, and looked back at me. I walked away and into the car and drove 70 miles to the cities.

I hopped out of my car and my cell phone fell to the ground. I swore. A super sweet and perky classmate comes around my car, having also just parked, and chattered away about her AWESOME DAY. I open my backseat door and realized what Mocha had known all along. I think I swore again.

AwesomeDayGirl did her best to console bitter me as we walked from the parking ramp to school. But stress makes me inflexible and inconsolable. We met a friend, dressed in a suit, who was walking to the ramp. She said Hi, how are you?

I took this as an open invitation and ranted (while continuing on my way, yelling over my shoulder) that "I LEFT MY SUIT AT HOME AND IT MAKES ME MAD." I walked a few more steps and then added "MERRY CHRISTMAS." Evidencing I still have common decency, I began to feel a little bad for AwesomeDayGirl, who WAS having an awesome day until she ran into Debbie Downer. I apologized for not being able to get over it. We parted ways.

I went to the elevator. I rode up with another classmate. I had her trapped in a small, enclosed space so she was my "captive" audience. She laughed nervously at my rant. Ironically, we ran into AwesomeDayGirl again (being that she was having an awesome day, she must have taken the stairs), and I apologized to her a second time that I apparently still hadn't gotten over it.

Then, before class started, I shared the story about three more times to several different groups of people. AwesomeDayGirl sits two rows up and two seats over, so I'm sure she wanted to throw her laptop at me. I apologized again. When I'm tired and stressed, I apologize. A LOT.

Since I have a work party in a few hours, and another formal lunch engagement tomorrow, I need to go downtown after class and buy a suit. SIGH! But I think I am finally getting over it. Hopefully I haven't totally ruined AwesomeDayGirl's afternoon! (Sorry)

A Visit from VBDragon

On an otherwise dreary day of homework and school and journal and Microsoft Word, VBDragon stopped by and brightened my day.

While I have lauded VBDragon's athletic abilities, tonight I was so impressed with her character. A few weeks ago, she had asked me to write her a letter of recommendation. There were a few questions I wanted to ask her. I wasn't 100% sure they were appropriate questions to ask of teenagers you weren't related to, but when she stopped by to pick up some things, we began talking and it just seemed like the right time. So I asked my hard questions, the kind that make teenagers squirm. And I was overjoyed (and relieved!) at the answers.

What makes VBDragon special is her self-awareness. The world tells teenagers they are only going to be happy if they are popular, have a boyfriend/girlfriend, and party. It takes a special young woman to glean the truth from her surroundings, to have the courage to find her own way, to make the hard decisions, and to be OK with being different. VBDragon's outlook on life far surpasses where I was at when I was 18. Maybe even 28.

The thing is, in high school (and in life), it's much easier to live like a Christian if you're totally isolated from the world. In high school, I had the popularity value of a kleenex. I'm pretty sure God created me to be a pudgy nerd-bag in high school because if I was athletic, popular and hot, I would have been an alcoholic hoe-bag. So when I look at VBDragon, who has enough athletic ability and attractive features to do some real damage if that's the kind of life she wanted, I am thoroughly impressed at her ability to say NO! to the world.

One of my favorite memories with VBDragon occurred a few years ago. I hosted a youth Bible Study/sand volleyball game. The teenager came, and while tall he hadn't quite mastered coordination. I, like always, was being more of a coach and less of an encouraging adult. After one particularly cutting remark, VBDragon looked at him consolingly and said, That was mean! I remember being very convicted by her words. She was right, I was way out of line. But I was more amazed that a junior high girl who was an amazing volleyball player even noticed that someone else was feeling bad. Much less say something comforting to an awkward teenage boy.

I don't want to put any undue pressure on VBDragon - she's gonna make mistakes. But I have faith in her ability to learn, to trudge through the hard times, and to have the courage to do what needs to be done. Thanks for brightening my day!