My Daily Outbox

For the next era of blogging, please check out My Daily Outbox.

Thanks again!

Free To Be Me

"The 30s are wonderful years! You will gain confidence in who you are and will plainly see the direction of your life." -Card from ChoirFriend

I am so blessed!

I am the wife of a loving husband, who supports me when I spend the day coaching (character day), and surprises me in the evening with desserts, cards, and a beautiful box...



Yes, it was a Tiffany & Co. ring!

I am the mother of two fantastic children. I stayed up late last night chatting with the Teenager, and enjoyed celebrating this evening with Daughter. Raising them with Husband has been the crowning achievement of my life thus far.

I am the daughter of amazing parents, who taught me that love is a choice and has very little to do with genetic relationships! It was great spending time with them this past weekend, enjoying outlet mall shopping and Lobster Fest. I am a sister to four younger siblings (and a sibling-in-law), who teach me so much about life, and the proud Godmother of SweetNiece.

I am the coach who made a difference in half a dozen young lives this season. Teaching young women about character through the medium of volleyball is the best ministry ever. This was a special team, and while it was time for the season to end, I cherished every minute of it. Today I received affirmation that they got a lot out of it as well. Best gift ever (well, best abstract gift. I'm really loving my T&C ring).

I am the friend of beautiful people, the kind that understand all the other balls I'm juggling, and love me even when they don't physically see or hear from me for a few days, weeks, or months. One thing I'm glad I can give up is some of the relational guilt I've carried around for three decades.

I am a child of God, beloved of The Creator, who taught me this year what it means to be human. He has spoken to me about the importance of recognizing the limitations of my humanity, and I now realize that being "free to be me" means accepting my imperfections: I'm overweight, I'm habitually late, I stress instead of celebrate, I'm crabby with my Daughter, I am incapable of cleaning the dang Scary Room, I take too many pictures, I spend too much money eating out, I don't exercise or strengthen my back enough, I can't stick to diets, I over-schedule myself, I'm a perfectionist, I'm not generous with God's money, and I forget to meet with God in prayer on a daily basis. I am an imperfect human being.

It's not an excuse. I'm working to improve, and by the grace of God I'll make some headway. But I'm FREE to be imperfect. God, my family, my friends, my players-they all love me even though I'm not perfect (some of them love me BECAUSE I'm not perfect!), and that is the greatest blessing of all.

It's been a good year. Soli Deo Gloria.


border="0" alt="Hit Counters">

Web Site Hit Counters

My New Blog Home

I have begun the transition to my new blog: My Daily Outbox. My plan is to continue blogging, but through letters written to people that impact my day. I think the format will make it easier for me to post on a more consistent basis, because even the most boring days are impacted by at least one other person! I hope you check it out and continue to follow me at that site. This 350 day blogging experiment has been fun, and I am excited to take my writing to the next level. My last day on this blog is April 11, 2011: My 30th Birthday!


border="0" alt="Hit Counters">

Web Site Hit Counters

State of the Quests

#1: Exercise and Eat Smart - I have not achieved daily thirty minute activity. But, I have made better food choices, and have lost 15 pounds.

#2: Punctuality - I was late (again) today. If I had a nickel every time I apologized for being late, Husband would be far less annoyed with me. I have learned to call ahead and give people warning. Although Husband won't admit it, I'm pretty sure he set my alarm clock ahead a few minutes after daylight savings went into effect a few weeks ago. However, on the whole, I think I have to accept that I'm just not a punctual person. You have been warned, so plan accordingly.

#3: Cherish the Moment - I really enjoyed the Teenager's graduation, and have consciously tried to embrace the idea of cherishing the moment in other situations where joy-stealers about.

#4: The Daughter Dare - One of the the best quests, and one I'm continually picking up again and again. The Daughter is a wonderful girl, and our relationship has improved a lot in the past year.

#5: The Scary Room - Um... still scary...

#6: Europe - It was a blast! I hope to relive that quest again before I turn 40!

#7: Eat Cheap - I am doing marginally better at this as well. Eating cheap goes hand in hand with eating less, so while I have a way to go yet, I think there's hope.

#8: Eliminate Back Pain - I am still struggling with this. My newest idea? I purchased a "True Back" traction board. But the best idea also goes hand in hand with losing weight... finding time to exercise! Oh Wii fit, how I miss you!

#9: Weightwatcher Points - Yeah, I noticed last week they charged me for another month of membership, and I haven't counted points for a month now, so I have half a mind to cancel... but then again, I'm only halfway to my goal weight...

#10: Simplify My Calendar - Also doing better on this. Having a calendar on my phone has made scheduling much easier and more accurate.

#11: Paralyzed by Perfection - I'm sure I will always struggle with this. But as I continue to focus on Christ's approval instead of the world's, I find I am able to make tiny improvements. Bit by bit.

#12: Storing Treasure in Heaven - I would like to think I am becoming less enamored with material things, but then I consider my house wish list and I know i have a long ways to go. I am more sensitive to the voice that reminds me to be generous with what I have been given, and to lend freely to others. Another quality I hope I can develop more strongly.

#13: Connect with Christ - I have continued to meet with Christ in prayer for thirty minutes each day, and it has made a change in me. As we wait for God's direction, Husband and I have developed a lot of character (meaning we've grown closer to each other and to God, but like most growth, it's been painful!).


border="0" alt="Hit Counters">

Web Site Hit Counters

LawLady

I'm afraid. I'm very afraid.

In Crim Practice, each person was assigned to a case as either a prosecutor or defense attorney. I am a defense attorney. And each prosecutor was assigned an agent, and each defense attorney was assigned a defendant. LawLady was assigned as my prosecutor's agent. And until this week, it didn't occur to me what that meant.

I must cross-examine LawLady. And I'm afraid.

Cross-examinations in themselves are challenging. The attorney's goal is to elicit yes or no answers in such a way that their case is strengthened. It requires a lot of patience (which I have loads of) and the art of "thinking before you speak," (another trait I really excel at). I imagine cross-examining LawLady will kind of be like cross-examining the teenager: when I don't get the answer I want, my instinct will be to break character in an inappropriate way.

Example:

Me: "You are sitting on this chair, aren't you?"
LawLady: "What do you mean by sitting?"
Me: "Dang it LawLady you know what I mean!"

Me: "You are sitting on this chair, aren't you?"
LawLady: "No."
Me: "You aren't sitting on the chair?"
LawLady: "No."
Me: "How do you figure?"
LawLady: "I'm resting on this chair."

Me: "You are sitting on this chair, aren't you?"
LawLady: "Yes."
Me: "So you admit this chair is holding you up?"
LawLady: "No."
Me: "What? You just admitted you are sitting on this chair! The logical inference is that it is holding you up!"
LawLady: "No, [insert creative, technical legalese here that I have never even remotely considered that will totally 100% ruin my entire planned argument], and that is why I am sitting on this chair, but it is not holding me up."
Me: "Shoot me now."

Oh LawLady. I'll be happy when we're back on the same side of the courtroom.


border="0" alt="Hit Counters">

Web Site Hit Counters

Why I'll Never Be Denny Crane

Denny Crane. Boston Legal's undefeated legend. Never lost a case.

I will never be Denny Crane. Today, I had my first court trial. And today, I lost my first court trial. (Court trial means there is no jury; it is a mini-trial before a judge or referee). In an ironic twist of fate, my first court trial was prosecuting a defendant for not wearing her seatbelt.

The defendant was in court today, arguing over a $25 fine. My kind of girl: it's not about the money, it's about the principle (think Lia Sophia). She was adamant that she was wearing her seatbelt, and that she did not simply put it on once she was pulled over.

I, too, have received a seatbelt ticket. When Husband and I were dating, we were both cited for not wearing our seatbelts. I remember being pulled over, and then quickly pulling my seatbelt on, and then having the deputy ask me if I had just pulled the seatbelt on, and being an honest child I said Yes. I find police officers often do not reward honesty with leniency; quite the opposite in fact. Honesty is an admission and makes it more likely you'll get charged!

I digress. The referee's decision ultimately became a question of who are you going to believe? The referee said she had two credible witnesses (the trooper on one hand, the defendant on the other), but in the end she found the defendant not guilty. The sting of defeat was considerably lessened by the fact that I theoretically only owed Justice $25 (plus court costs) for my rookie performance. It was humbling, I learned a lot, and developed (yes, you guessed it!) Character.


border="0" alt="Hit Counters">

Web Site Hit Counters

The Teenager Parable

Imagine I caught the teenager not only sneaking into the house an hour after curfew, but that he was late because he was teepeeing the neighbor's house and he tipped over a few cows. And let's say, instead of flying off the handle, I simply told him we would talk about it in the morning, after we'd had time to calm down.

But then the next morning the Teenager gets up at the break of dawn and leaves the house, and basically evades me for the next two years, so that we are unable to have this talk. Stick with me, OK?

Finally, I corner the Teenager, and I threaten that if we don't have the talk tomorrow morning, his allowance is cut off. (OK, so maybe first you should imagine the Teenager gets an allowance...)

In our household, both breaking curfew and vandalizing property brings about a consequence of no media for one month. The consequence for tipping cows is only a week without media. But, if Teenager will admit he broke curfew, apologizes, and promises to not do it again for one year, not only will I entirely forgive and forget the teepeeing and the cow-tipping, I won't enforce the one month no-media punishment. It will just hang over his head for a year, and as long as he has no other curfew violations, it will disappear. I'm also going to dock $20 off his allowance, but I'll likely reconsider if he gives me any good reason why he can't afford that.

So Teenager and I sit in the living room and begin discussing the curfew breaking, the teepeeing, and the cow-tipping. I start off by explaining to the Teenager my willingness to forgo punishment if he will simply apologize and pay the $20. Before I can even get a word out, the Teenager begins on a long rant about how he should NOT have to deal with this issue since it occurred two years ago, that he has a class assignment that requires he watch TV each day, and that he has been home on time ever since then, hasn't teepeed, and hasn't cow-tipped, so why is this even an issue? I calmly explain to the Teenager that if he doesn't want to apologize that's fine, he doesn't have to, but then he runs the risk of Husband mandating no media for two months and one week. It's his choice.

The Teenager continues to argue, and eventually Daughter walks into the room. She really needs my help with a baking project. So I say to Teenager, I have other people to help, it's up to you, just decide! And he says, I can't admit I came in after curfew, it will totally ruin my reputation, I'm going to plead my case to Husband. (Notice how his argument isn't, "I didn't do this act, therefore I'm innocent!")

So the Teenager and I walk up to the house calendar to find a day when Husband can sit down and talk to Teenager. I have the pen out, when Teenager suddenly says, No, I want to just apologize. I don't want to talk to Husband.

OK Fine. So I put the pen away, walk back to the table, and strongly suggest the Teenager phone a friend for some advice. I then help Daughter, which includes assisting her with putting her cookies in the oven. Meanwhile, the Teenager's friend tells him to just talk to Husband if he doesn't want to apologize. Teenager comes back into the room, and tells me that the Friend is going to talk to Husband for him.

That doesn't make any sense. What random teenager wants to voluntarily engage in a tense, uncomfortable conversation with an angry adult on another's behalf? While washing dishes with Daughter, I turn around to tell the Teenager that that doesn't sound right, and inform him the Friend needs to tell me personally he is going to talk to Husband. In the meantime, smoke is coming from the oven and Daughter is trying to get my attention... and yes I do think I hear a knock at the door...

I put out the fire, dismiss the salesperson at the door, and the Teenager is back in the room waving at me to get my attention. I'm a little frazzled. The Teenager informs me that his Friend apparently wanted money or some sort of compensation, and since that was out of the question, Teenager wanted to schedule a meeting with Husband. As we are about to walk up to the calendar, the Teenager stops and tries to explain to me, for the tenth time, that he cannot apologize for fear of a marred reputation, and that this happened two years ago so WHY am I making him do this?

Through clenched teeth I tell Teenager he needs to choose. The decision is either apologize, or talk to Husband. That's all there is. (I should also add that, while Teenager's initial Friend won't talk to Husband on his behalf, there is a second friend available who will help the Teenager out FOR FREE, but the Teenager doesn't want him because he "doesn't know what he's talking about").

Teenager says he is concerned about admitting he came in after curfew, because he's a teenager, and this might happen again, and then he'd have to go a month without media...Yes, that's true.

Teenager is also concerned because his reputation is important to him, and if he apologizes, it might have negative consequences...Yes, that's also true.

And finally, the Teenager is concerned about this $20...Well, that's the offer.

In the end, the Teenager chose to schedule a day to talk to Husband.

Yes, this IS a thinly-veiled parable about how my day went with a particularly difficult pro-se defendant. In my head I kept thinking, "If you were my kid..." Have people lost all sense of personal responsibility, that they can't accept negative consequences for their negative behavior??? Especially when the offer eliminated almost ALL of the negative consequences!!!


border="0" alt="Hit Counters">

Web Site Hit Counters

The Countdown

My 350 days are almost up!

I don't think this week will bring a 15 pound weight loss or a clean scary room, but I do think this week is going to be fabulous. Some hibernation with my family, rest, and prayer has produced a new attitude. The song that says it all:

"I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience

While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait

I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord"

There is a race to be run, and I need to get back on the track!


border="0" alt="Hit Counters">

Web Site Hit Counters