Quest #10: Temptation Lurks

Dinner with SuperSaver and SuperDuper.We laughed off about 200 calories tonight - good for the soul! But a quest-wrecker appeared: SuperDuper's eldest daughter is having her four-year-old birthday party on Sunday afternoon at 2 p.m. I want to go. I know I really can't... unless my brother and sister-in-law have their baby this weekend and we are on our way home from visiting them... and even then, SuperDuper's home isn't exactly on the way.

Let us review. Today I was on the verge of crazy. I left the house at 6:30 (or tried to, I dropped daughter off at 6:40). I worked from 9 a.m. to noon. I spent an hour at the law library for work. I had tax from 1:30-3:30. I grabbed lunch during break, and made a phone call for work. After class, I went back to the law library for work, then walked to the office and ran some errends. I went to get my hair cut. My hair cut went 30 minutes past my time slot, so I was 30 minutes late to dinner. I got home at 9 p.m. I spent a lot of time talking on the phone while speedwalking places, and felt quite stressed.

And yet, what kind of terrible ogre doesn't attend a fabulous four-year-old's princess party? (The same ogre that doesn't attend home volleyball games. Or watch movies with sister AngelOwner). SuperDuper, a regular reader, understands why I can't come, and honestly, I haven't even been invited - I just assume I can go!

How sick is that? I feel guilty about not being able to do something that nobody expects me to go to, or even asked me to go to. Does it comes from a desire to show SuperDuper how much I love her and her daughter? More likely, it comes (at least partially) from a selfish desire that SuperDuper see what a good friend I am. I suspect I often feel badly not because I performed below anyone's expectations, but because I failed to exceed them. And that strain of self-inflicted harm must stop NOW!