Portzilki Day

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Growing up, the morning of New Year's Day was spent at Grandma's eating New Year's Cookies. The Mennonite doughnut officially titled "Portzilki" involves making a bread dough with raisins and then dropping spoonfuls into hot oil. Care is taken to make sure the cookie is cooked on all sides for the perfect amount of time, then allowed to drain and cool for an unspecified amount of time, depending on the durability of one's tongue to hot oil. The browned piece of happiness is best when dipped in sugar and accompanied by a SunDrop, but this morning coffee had to suffice.

I hadn't been on the farm for New Year's in quite a while, but knowing people wouldn't be gathering at Grandma's this morning was sad. So it was extra appropriate that Husband decided that this was the year he would make his debut as chef of New Year's Cookies.

The process was comical, with Husband often coming to ask me "What does this mean?" "Does this look right?" etc. I tried a few times to bluff my way through, but he quickly saw through my act and retreated to the kitchen, muttering something about people who don't know shouldn't guess. It's true, I don't cook often or well. But, several years ago, I did take time to talk with Grandma about making New Year's Cookies and Zwieback. Looking back at the recipe I wrote, I had to laugh. For example, I wrote down the following instruction:

"Mix yeast and sugar, add warm water (1 c.) it will raise (Grandma has a bowl holds up to 1 pt; rise 1 in. (ex. 1 pt) 15 min?"

I was brought back to the day. I was in my early twenties, and despite a total lack of interest in cooking generally, I wanted to learn how to make the Mennonite treat. Grandma was explaining how to mix the yeast and sugar and warm water when I asked, "How much water?" She looked at me, apparently confused because 1) I didn't know how much water, and 2) years of habit prevented her from remembering exactly how much water. She thought a minute, then said, "Well, maybe about a cup."

She then proceeded to say the dough would take time to rise, and I asked how much it would rise. Again The Look, and then the response: "Well, it will raise to the top of my bowl."

At this point, I had the confused look and said, "Grandma, how will I know how much to let it rise? I don't have a special bowl like you." After a few moments of silence as she thought how to explain simple cooking to a total amateur and I tried to figure out how to translate decades of New Year's Cooking knowledge into an understandable language, I decided to measure how big the bowl was, hence the 1 pt./1 in. My recipe includes notes like "If they bake too soon w/out raising, will be tough" and "Use large bowl" (whatever that means!) and "butter, smaller size of egg."

I admit, today was the first day my recipe translation has been tested. Husband and I found only one glitch - we think the 1 cup of water should have been 1/2 cup of water, because the dough didn't want to rise and all other internet sites used 1/2 cup of water. Husband added a bit more flour and we were good to go. Honestly, it is a bit of a Mennonite Miracle that the water was the only bump in the road to New Year's bliss. Think about it: If Grandma is using egg-sizes for measurement, and likely her special flour scoop, then the whole recipe is based on general estimations! Defying all odds, Grandma's disdain for measuring cups and my total lack of cooking experience produced a recipe that was 99% accurate! Happy New Year!


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