Insurance Plans for Personal Stupidity

Today I went Christmas shopping at the T-mobile store. The first time Husband and I purchased phones for the kids, we learned we would get a great deal on new phones for renewing our contract. The kids were very surprised when they opened up their new phones on Christmas morning.

Two years later, when our contract needed to be renewed, we got new phones for Christmas, and allowed the teenager to pick out the one he wanted. We made him leave the store when we actually bought it, and then put it under the tree.

But this year, being the end of a two-year cycle, the teenager knew it was time for a new phone. We dispensed with the act and let him and daughter stay as we purchased the phones.

My negotiating lawyer skills were on overdrive. Faux Christmas shopping (when there is no surprise and everyone knows what they are getting) is not magical, and makes me a little crabby. I first asked the manager, a blond kid in his mid-twenties, if we could get some kind of special discount for being such long-term customers. He said no. But persistence pays off, and a later request for free accessories got me some minor fees waved. Good enough.

My finest moment was when we were checking out with J-man, the best customer service rep I've had in a long time. J-man charmed the bitchy lawyer right out of me, responding to my cross-examination questions on fees, prices and plans with a smile. At one point he explained the tethering policy, and how the phone warranty did not cover meltdowns resulting from unauthorized platform use. We were discussing the insurance plan for the phones, and in a moment of lawyer-smugness I asked, "What events does this policy NOT cover? Will it cover all acts of personal stupidity?"

He responded, "It covers everything but Acts of War."

I, thinking he was getting back to this tethering policy regarding unauthorized platforms, and wanting to show my mainstream media prowess, said, "Oh, you mean the computer game?"

Husband, teenager, and J-man looked at me with their mouths open. Husband broke the silence.

"No, he means if you throw your phone to protect yourself from a bullet."

J-man followed up with "If you're planning to go to the Middle-East, leave your phone at home."

Apparently the phone's insurance plan can't cover all my acts of personal stupidity.


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