For example, last night I stayed in the Spare Room, which by the way does not have reliable internet, hence no post yesterday. I confess that last night I had two suppers. The first one was two slices of cold pizza devoured during class. The second one was several hours later when Legally Blond made a healthy dinner of chicken breast and vegetables. In my defense, Legally Blond's healthy chicken replaced the Papa John's pizza I wanted to order. At least, that's what I told myself as I ate my second dinner.
I had Journal meeting at 8 a.m. For breakfast, I had a piece of gum. I wasn't overly hungry... maybe because I ate two suppers. Then, for lunch I HAD to go to Buca because I had a $10 off coupon that expired today. The catch was that I had to spend $20 to get the discount. My plan was to spend $20 and pay $10. I ended up spending $30 and paying $20. (You win this round, Buca. Drat your ingenious marketing and well-thought out profit scheme). Needless to say, my spaghetti and pop and bread and calamari (and salad!) weighed heavy on my gut and my pocketbook.
By early afternoon I needed a distraction. So THH and I walked to Caribou to spend our $5 giftcards that we won in class yesterday. Five dollars gets you a large Ho Ho Dark Mint Mocha. Did I need a large? No. But it was free. It was there. I drowned my stress in 20 oz. and 640 calories of chocolaty goodness.
The pendulum swung, and I didn't eat supper. At the normal time anyways. I was feeling a little guilty, but mostly busy preparing for my pretend pretrial. So I compensated by driving back North and eating some comfort food - a bowl of minute rice and cheddar cheese, with an egg nog/milk cocktail. I love carbs.
So here I sit, reflecting upon my horrible dietary choices, full of starch and food-remorse. But that's the thing... I'm not really remorseful. If I was truly upset, I would change! But I don't. WHAT DOES IT MEAN? Maybe its the egg nog talking, but I'm beginning to lose hope in my free to be me dreams. Perhaps I'm destined to be trapped by my own lack of self-control...destined to eat myself to death...and fail law school...and live all alone, with pasta as my only friend...
I think I need to go to bed.
Web Site Hit Counters
I feel like that last paragraph was over dramatic. You are ridiculous! Plus, if I'm understanding this right, you have UNTIL you're 30 to "officially" change your ways. Change takes time, not over night. So I would say, don't be so hard on yourself for over indulging, because you are still a young and careless 29 year old :) Don't worry so much about what you eat until you're an old and careful 30 year old.
ReplyDeleteHa! Sounds like I should call you when I need someone to affirm my perpetual rationalizing :-) Thanks FamousDiva!
ReplyDelete