Is the Month Almost Over or Just Begun?

It's about that time, when the seeds of procrastination sprout and are growing into big problems at an astounding rate. I need to write a 3,000 word paper, put on a full trial, and prepare two separate class presentations in the next three weeks. Not to mention host JO Volleyball tryouts next Sunday, host a Thanksgiving meal for 14 (although husband is on turkey duty), and start the Christmas party circuit!

Life has been so busy that I find I don't have time to go to the bathroom! I became concerned this past weekend when there was blood in my urine, and I thought I burst my bladder. But no, turns out my monthly pregnancy test came back negative and I simply forgot what day the results were coming in. Time flies when you're crazy. Sigh.


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Day 10: End of Quest #2

I made the bus. I woke up at 6 a.m., left the house at 7:25, when I got within a mile of the exit I began chanting "bus bus bus," I actually exited the freeway at the correct exit, and I avoided about 10 miles of parking-lot conditions as the bus skidded on the shoulder. Yes, today was the BEST day to be on the bus, since new road construction hit and my route into town is SEVERELY backed up. Hooray! What a reward!

And I made the 5:09 bus home. (It was close, but I made it). I am about 35 minutes past my bedtime, but I have been scrapbooking the teenagers life and am having a hard time breaking away!

Quest #3 - stay tuned! :-)

Day 9: Improvement

Today, my family was on time for church. Church starts at 9 a.m. We arrived at 8:55. It was amazing.

I got 8 hours of sleep. I got up after one snooze. I admit, my family wasn't in our seats at the beginning of the first song.. but we heard the end of it, and every song afterwards.

And I'm doing well with my exercise and eating. So far, so good.

Tomorrow is the ultimate test. WILL I MAKE THE BUS???

Day 8: Full Day

Boring post alert. Got 8 hours of sleep, had a really productive day preparing for the teenager's graduation open house. Went to lunch at DQ, where he works, and took pictures for the scrapbook. Managed to throw away half of the small, buster bar blizzard... I told husband I was going to throw it away after three more bites, but when it came time to put it in the indoor trash bin I couldn't do it! I carried it outside and took one more big bite... and then ran to the outdoor trash can and threw it away before I had bloated sheep! Went through daughter's clothes and put together a bag for the thrift store - now no matter what she puts on in the morning, she should be good to go (as opposed to last week, where her first 1-2 attempts at dressing herself were vetoed by mom, save the day that I instructed her to change but didn't see outfit #2, come to find out later she wore a pajama shirt. sigh!). It was a fun day, I can't say if it was punctual since I didn't have to be anywhere at any certain time, but I did get up at a reasonable hour and had a day filled with work and play.

Day 7: Seven Years!

May 18 is our actual seven year anniversary of marriage, but we celebrated this evening at W.A.Frosts in St. Paul. Cheers to us!

Because of our dinner date, I drove to work today. Despite intending to drive to work, I still wanted to see what time I would pass the exit... but once again I spaced out and drove by without noticing, so I don't know exactly what time I passed it, but I know it was before 8:09.

It was a good day for punctuality. I observed a 9 a.m. court hearing, and made my dinner date (OK, I was five minutes late, but not for lack of trying! I couldn't remember how to get to the restaurant, and used up my time cushion driving in circles). I was a little stressed from being lost, but it passed quickly. I never really internalized how much my mood is affected by being late.

Seven years... thank goodness my husband is patient, forgiving and loving! Husband jokingly toasted that our marriage was full of surprises, in reference to the teenager (who graduates in 16 days) and daughter. Looking back on what we've accomplished in the past seven years, I thank God He put us together, that He has held us together, and will continue to hold us together!

Day 6: Breaking Point

Today I had what those in therapy call, a "breakthrough."

This morning, I had an assignment that I needed about four hours to work on. I decided I would leave and ride the bus, thus beginning work at 8 a.m. and getting most of the way done before a noon luncheon, and then I would finish afterward to meet my 'early afternoon' deadline. I left the house at 7:20. I had more than enough time to make the 8:09 bus.

I was so proud of myself! Such a calm, leisurely ride. No speeding. I got into the right lane. Life is good. Wait - where am I? Oh my gosh I missed my exit!!! The time is 7:56.

Here's what i learned today:
1) After the bus exit, it takes 6 minutes to reach the next exit to turn around.
2) When in a hurry, chance are you will sit at the intersection stoplight for an additional three minutes.
3) The metro transit bus system is VERY punctual.
4) The clock in my car is VERY accurate.
5) When the clock says 8:11, this means the bus left two minutes ago.

In fact, as I was waiting for the dang light to turn at the top of the ramp, I watched the bus get onto the freeway on the other side. No breakthrough moment yet; at this point in my day I merely though God had something against me taking the bus.

So I am determined to take the bus. I drive south to the next bus stop, about ten minutes south. This park and ride is very popular and very full. I am in a hurry; I see an express bus... the temptation is too great. I use my handicap placard that I obtained when on crutches last winter and limp to the bus. (In my defense, I am wearing a brace and I am supposed to be extra careful right now because my leg is susceptible to re-breakage because the pins just came out... Sigh. I'm a terrible person. A weak, terrible person). No breakthrough moment yet, just guilt.

I go through my day. It's a good day. I was going to leave at 4:15 p.m., when another girl at work is leaving for the same park and ride. But at 4:15 I am "just finishing up" a project for a very senior partner. I keep working. The clock keeps ticking.

Suddenly it is 5:30 p.m. I realize that the kids have a concert at 7:30 p.m. And that the daughter in particular will need my help to prepare. Oh dear. If I could magically appear in a vehicle and drive straight home, I would be fine.

As it is, I must close down my computer, go to the bathroom (hey, it's over an hour commute!), ride the elevator down dozens of floors, walk the wrong way out the building so I need to walk an extra two blocks to the bus stop, hop on a bus hoping its the right bus (I confirm with a nice lady next to me, she says it is. And weird fun fact, Gander Mountain lady from the morning bus ride is taking the same bus home with me!), text frantically and find out daughter needs to be at school by 7 p.m., realize there is no way in heck I am going to be home by 7 p.m., get to the park and ride, limp back to the car and begin commute at average 85 MPH while praying the SUV will make 50 miles on less than a quarter tank of gas, call Choir Friend (choir teacher who is also my friend) and find out it's OK if daughter is there by 7:15 p.m. (I lied, I knew daughter wasn't going to be there until just before 7:30 p.m.), discovered daughter needs to wear jeans and a solid colored shirt and NOT the cute green dress I had instructed her to put on, called husband and teenager to relay the message about the solid colored shirt(to which teenager responds, "Oh yeah, I bought one for myself at Walmart today!" ARRRGGGHHHH!), have family send text pictures of 1) daughter's current hair style, 2) a random pink shirt they found in her drawer (way to small!)and 3) her final white t-shirt look (I instructed husband where to find a t-shirt in my dresser), instruct husband to go to the concert to save us seats, arrive at home at 7:10 p.m., run into the house, find belt for daughter, tuck in her tank top, blow dry her hair, deliver her to school by 7:27, return home because I forgot the camera (as if this day isn't memorable enough!), park car (whose gas light just popped on) in friend's driveway unannounced (leaving the car unlocked with the keys on the floor; whoever steals it will get about two blocks), rush into school and to the balcony to my seat, having missed only the first two songs (neither of which feature my kids).

THIS is the breakthrough moment. I CANNOT live like this! Like the bloated sheep day of Quest #1, I endured so much emotional pain that if change doesn't happen now, it never will. Besides breaking traffic laws (speeding), moral laws (handicap placard, lies) and yelling a lot at my patient and enduring husband (the teenager told me that when he left for school at 6:55 p.m., husband whispered, "Take me with you!"), the STRESS of it all must have sheered off hours of my life.

REMEMBER THE PAIN.

Oh, and the concert was fabulous. I cried when teenager's choir sang 100 Years - ironically, another time reference. Time goes by so fast, and I certainly don't want to be spending it stressing out on the freeway. So this is it. Until tomorrow.

Day 5: Um...

Today I learned three things:

1) The metro transit bus system is VERY punctual.
2) The clock in my car is VERY accurate.
3) When the clock says 8:11, this means the bus left two minutes ago.

Today, I met the bus as I drove into the park and ride lot. And unlike the school bus of my childhood, it did not stop and wait for me. I need to leave my house between 7:15-7:25.

I have not found my Tommy card yet, but I have decided it will turn up when I clean this weekend. I have reached that point where I am absent mindedly leaving things all over the house - I couldn't find my pajamas this evening because for some reason, I left them on the couch this morning after my shower. Weird. I found a bus pass that I last remembered being in my pants pocket in the storage compartment between the seats in the Explorer. Huh. So this proves that my Tommy card could be ANYWHERE.

I'm beginning to think I am unable to be on time. Today is the half way point and I have yet to catch that dang bus! Or go to bed on time...

Day 4: Missed the Bus, Missing Items

My missing Tommy card screwed me over today. I'll try that again. I lack the self-control to stop looking for my Tommy card.

My student ID at St. Thomas is missing. Do I need it? No, not really. I kind of needed it this morning, but when I couldn't find it, I managed. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

I was ready to leave the house at 7:25. I was in the car. I ran back inside to grab my bus pass, and grab my Tommy card. But I couldn't find it. I looked in pockets, on my dresser, in my briefcase... I finally pulled myself away about 7:37. I missed the bus by about ten minutes. Since I was now driving anyways and parking in the school ramp, I had time to run to the law journal office to look for a Conflicts List that I needed for my summer clerkship. The security officer let me in, but the list wasn't there!

I didn't start billing until 9:38 a.m. I left about 5:40 p.m. (Considerably later than my 5:07 goal). And now that I'm home, I'm obsessed with trying to find that dang card! I checked my golf bag, my purses, every pants pocket... Last remembered sighting was when I got my student discount at J. Crew last week Tuesday at 6 p.m. I called J. Crew and they don't have it either.

I HATE LOSING THINGS! I could barely tear myself away to write this post. I need to go to bed at 10 p.m. We'll see if that happens. My punctuality is being severely challenged today...

Day 3: The Time Cushion

I left the house at 9:50. I couldn't sleep last night. I finished my "Sleepy Time" tea around 2 a.m. I ignored my 7 a.m. alarm. I rolled out of bed and moved to the couch so as to be of more assistance to Daughter. After the kids left, I snoozed until about 8:30, then began getting ready for the day. I think the ten minutes over budget came from the atypical activities of looking for my passport (for my I-9), wrapping my brace around a heeled shoe, and having to re-do my outfit after my pants proved to be an inch too long (do black pants go with lavender-white striped shirt? My first choice was grey...). BUT, because I built in extra time, I arrived at the office at 11:15 a.m. So victory as to getting to work on time!

The next challenge is to be punctual about getting home. The competitive workaholic in me has to fight the urge to stay "just ten minutes longer" so I can finish this, that, and the other thing.

Tomorrow, I need to be at the bus stop by 8:09 a.m., so I should leave home between 7:20-7:30. My goal is to get into the habit of getting up at 6 a.m. and going to bed at 10 p.m. Returning home, I need to be at the bus stop by 5:09.

Day 2: Mothers and Alarm Clocks

I went to bed at 12:30 a.m. I was hanging out with family. Church was at 10:30 a.m. I assumed husband would get me up. He assumed he would get up. Nobody set an alarm.

We got up at 10:50 a.m. My initial reaction was, "Why didn't my mom get me up?"

Probably because I'm almost thirty, married, with two kids. But still. Something inside me still wants my mom to know what's best for me, and to impose her wisdom upon me by yelling "Time for church!" up the stairs.

Instead, I have a mother who teaches by example. She was in bed far before 12:30 a.m. She was probably up by 6:30 a.m., so she could get in the (only) shower before everyone else bottlenecked in the bathroom. She starts coffee and puts out breakfast foods.

Compare that picture of the Proverbial Wife of Noble Character with this one: this mom goes to bed later than she should. She usually lacks the eight hours of sleep necessary for civility and kindness. She soundly sleeps as husband gets up for work at 4:00 a.m. and leaves at 5:30 a.m. She might hear daughter eat breakfast by herself at 5:30 a.m. and incoherently ask something nit-picky like, "How much cereal did you take?" before falling back asleep. Daughter is now in the habit of approaching mom's bed for mom's approval of her lunch (which she packs herself), her apparel, and to sign her school planner. Sad to say, there have been mornings where both kids leave at 7:30 a.m. and all they get is a muffled, "Change the world!" from the bedroom.

Once upon a time, the family did "Family Breakfast" at 5 a.m. It involved breakfast, mandatory family attendance, and a devotional. It was good. Daughter loved it. Teenager sort of hated it, but attended. I liked the idea of it. But at times, lacked the discipline to enforce it as much as I should have. When husband had to leave at 5 a.m. (vs. 5:30 a.m.), Family Breakfast came to an end. We could re-institute family breakfast, because husband leaves at 5:30 a.m. again. Pro: it is a wonderful concept: everyone gathered around the breakfast table to talk, eat and pray. Con: I have much more quality conversation with teenager late at night then early in the morning. Maybe it should just be instituted a few days per week.

Well, it is now 11:15 p.m. I need to get to bed. Tomorrow is the first day of clerking, and I need to be there by 11:30 a.m. I will be there at 11:15 a.m. Since I will be driving, I will need to leave 20 minutes to walk from the parking ramp to the office, and 1 hour 15 minutes for the commute. Therefore, my goal is to leave home between 9:30 and 9:40 a.m.

Day 1: Rough Start

My problem is that I like to stay up late. Like right now, typing away as the eleven o'clock hour nears. I know that in order to stick to my great plan of punctuality, I needed to go to sleep an hour ago. And yet, hanging out in the living room with the teenager while catching up on email, facebook and blogging is so relaxing that I am unwilling to go to bed. As an international adoptee, my mom recalls me standing in my crib and grinning at her in the middle of the night, and she swears I have yet to adjust to the time change!

Day one did not go well, but there were no hard deadlines either. The family was traveling three hours to visit my hometown, and our "goal" was 8 a.m., knowing that if we got going before 9 a.m. it would be a victory. I drug myself out of bed at 7:06 (I hit the snooze but then talked myself out of bed before 7:09) and crankily began rounding up the children, packed my bag, directed husband... and we were out the door around 8:30 a.m. I was tired. I did not get 8 hours of sleep.

I had planned to celebrate my brother and sister-in-law's pregnancy at 1:15 at a Chinese Restaurant. Growing up, I worked there and knew it was a 15 minute drive from the farm. Husband and I left the farm at 1:12. We were engaged in such fun conversation... but luckily we got a text from sister-in-law that they were five minutes behind... and we actually beat them to the restaurant! Victory (sort of?)!

This punctuality thing is going to be tough. It isn't fun getting up and being cranky. But I so enjoy the calm of the late night! And hanging out with the teenager... And being late to lunch didn't create any negative repercussions... Maybe I'm just not the punctual type.

Quest #2: Punctuality

The source of conflict in so many of my relationships - my inability to be on time - will be the focus of Free To Be Me for the next 10 days.

To all those who get angry with me when I am late: you're right. It is SO rude and inconsiderate of your time. When I am late, I AM saying that my time is more important than your time. I DO need to leave habitual lateness in my twenties.

In an effort to be very efficient with my time, I simply don't allow myself enough of it. I underestimate how long it will take me to do things, and I never build in time for the unexpected. My perfectionist nature says I can do the impossible, but my husband, family and friends confront me with the truth (usually in the form of self-controlled silence as I give some lame-o excuse of why I'm late again). I feel rushed, anxious and defensive when I'm late. There are times when, despite my best efforts, God has another plan. And then there are times when I make choices that I know will make me late, but my desire for the immediate benefit (ten more minutes of sleep, ten more minutes with a friend, ten more minutes reading) eclipses the withdrawal of ten minutes to someone else.

For the next 10 days, I will wake up a minimum of one hour before I need to leave the house. I will go to sleep eight hours before I need to wake up. And I will physically be at appointments ten minutes prior to its start.