The Deer Theory

According to the deep philosopher, Pez (The original Deer Theory is Pez's, the explanation below includes a few author extrapolations):

Dating is like deer hunting. The goal is that, at the end of the season, you shoot yourself a deer and take it home and marry it. Or something like that.

Now, everyone by right gets a free pass to the deer farm at least once in their life. It's called high school. Think about it: you're on the hunt, and the object you are hunting is in a closed environment, milling about, and usually there are several herds to choose from. The downside is that both the hunter and the deer are young and inexperienced. The hunter might shoot the first deer he sees, not realizing there were other and better options.

It is true that many people do bag a deer on the high school deer farm and are eternally happy they did. But for those hunters who did not get a deer this time around, who perhaps spent too much time competing for the same deer that other hunters were pursuing, or that caught a deer but then didn't know what do next, or maybe was too busy climbing trees to worry about deer - for those hunters, a choice must be made. Will you try and track a deer in the wild, or will you pay several thousand dollars for another ticket to the deer farm?

Hunters why buy another ticket realize the college deer farm is likely their last opportunity for easy pickin', and don't waste too much time looking for the biggest rack. But for some hunters, it just doesn't work out. At the end of the day, the deer farm is closed and the hunter is now having to find a deer in the wild. Finding a deer in the wild is a much harder thing. Suddenly, the deer aren't penned up in a predictable and reliable spot. It becomes a lot more work to even get close to a deer, much less bag one!

And so concludes The Deer Theory. There is no moral to this story. It is simply an excellent analogy to the human plight, and I thought it would be fun to refer to it in future posts.