I hate plants. I love you SuperSaver. But I hate plants. And I'm not quite sure why you keep giving them to me!
By "hate" I mean I like to look at plants, but hate giving them any special time or treatment. Only the strongest plants survive here. I don't water very often - generally I wait for plants' leaves to droop - and I don't have people come take care of my plants when I am gone, no matter how long. I don't give them special food and I don't repot them.
We only have (er, had) four plants: the two from SuperSaver were a jade plant, and a peace lily from my Grandpa's funeral. The other two include a super-hefty plant in a planter Daughter brought home three years ago, and a venus fly trap from the teenager's "Little Shop of Horrors" musical last year.
I told Husband I wanted to get rid of the jade plant and Daughter's plant. He asked me why, it's not like I took time to water them or anything. Hmph. He's got a point, I don't really do anything for those two (they don't droop like the peace lily), I'm not sure how they survive, but they clutter up the top of the microwave!
Then fate gave me my "out." I closed the dishwasher a little too hard the other day, and the jade plant came tumbling down from the microwave (which sits on the dishwasher). Haha! The pot (an old coffee cup with the handle broken off) broke into pieces, Daughter and I paused for a moment and stared, and then I swept it all up into the garbage. Only three left before I can live plant-free...
Today, I visit my two Supers, and SuperSaver gives me another plant.
This time, it was flowers, and I do like them... but apparently my subconscious killer tendencies are on high alert. I tried to leave the flowers with SuperDuper (we were at her house) because they might freeze in the car, but both gave me such disparaging looks and told me it was NOT cold enough for the flowers to freeze. So I put the flower arrangement on the passenger side floor and drove away.
When I got home, I picked up the plant and realized it was all crunchy... I had the heater on and it had blown directly on the flowers. Half of them were totally dried out. Oh SuperSaver, I'm sorry I'm such an epic fail at taking care of living things... but please, feel free to leave your baby (due in March!) with me anytime.
Flowers aren't technically a plant. They have a very short shelf life, at which point you're left only with a vase (that you can use to pay forward flowers to someone else, hint hint.) OK JK about the hint.
ReplyDeleteWhat a sad little flower arrangement. Better that they were ruined than that they spilled in your car or something.
Also, you probably take better care of plants than you realize. While most of us tend to nurture our plants to death, you've mastered a detachment under which jade plants and peace lilies thrive! You shouldn't feel bad for killing them though. It's not like they're fish (which Chris used to insist on giving me, and I killed every time) or you know ... Mocha. Or somebody's baby.