Scariest Pumpkin Ever

Earlier this month, Daughter needed a pumpkin to carve at an activity group she attends twice a month. We sent her with a whole pumpkin, imagining she would return with a jack-o-lantern of some kind, whether painted or carved. She returned with a hallowed-out pumpkin with a one big hole in the middle. To her credit, Daughter had drawn eyes on with a sharpie, so it looked like a pumpkin with a HUGE-open-mouth smile. This past month Husband and I have been making the pumpkin face to each other - you simply open up your mouth as big as you possible can in a smile and close your eyes, often tipping your head back. It's our scary face.

The warm days and nights have not been good to Smiles. Black mold is slowly eating him, and the rain of the past few days filled him up. Smiles' dignity officially disappeared when his stem hat fell into his head and floated pathetically on the small pool of water within.

Husband and I are horribly frightened of Smiles. Neither of us wants to touch the dang thing, much less figure out how to dispose of him. The combination of the mold and the sitting water is decomposing Smiles at an alarming rate. A nice hard freeze would take care of the mushy water situation. But everyone knows jack-o-lanterns past Halloween are horribly tacky, and I'm afraid the level of freeze needed to keep Smiles in one solid piece isn't coming for another week or two.

*shudder* I am afraid. Very Afraid.