Mini-Quest: DON'T FREAK OUT.

I had a monumental realization today. When it comes to family vacations, I can only handle so much, and then I FREAK OUT.

We're not talking the minor-freak out of yesterday. Like an earthquake tremor, it was merely a warning signal that the richter scale was about to be rocked. I love my family, and the first few days of vacation are always wonderful. But...

But I can only handle the terrible teenager for a few days before I blow. It used to be The Teenager - when we took the kid to Epcot he informed us that it "wasn't quite what he imagined," and that "next year, we should go to Magic Kingdom" (to which I responded "WE ARE IN DISNEYLAND, THE HAPPIEST FREAKIN' PLACE ON EARTH! GET HAPPY!!)

This year, it is daughter. Daughter, whose stubborn streak combined with PMS is enough to drive a saint to cuss (and as my family knows, I don't even pretend I am a saint), has been a little stressful. Usually, her care is spread out among two or three people throughout the day because she goes to school and then spends time with a Personal Care Attendant before returning home. I'm lucky - I usually get to see her after all her needs have been met and we are just chatting and relaxing.

But during vacation, besides her repeatedly telling me she wants to go home and go to school and lists off all the people she misses back home, I am also assisting her with independent living skills (remember, I said she was having PMS), encouraging/pleading/demanding she walk faster, counting to ten when she pouts when I give her an "unacceptable" answer...

So there I was today, crying on the deck with husband. Because I'm a terrible parent! What kind of parent can't handle a week long family vacation without constantly butting heads with her daughter???

And there, as I was crying on the deck, husband consoled me and reminded me that I'm a good parent, I just have limits (interpretation: stop trying to pretend you can do everything!). And I realized that patience is not a personal strength of mine. And that I neeeded God's grace. And that "perfect" family vacations, where I play the role of the perfect mother, do not exist.

So... mini-quest for the rest of vacation? See the warning signs. And don't freak out.